I had the opportunity to visit my sweet friend in the hospital late this morning. Today was the fourth day of her incredibly intense chemotherapy, and though she is feeling some of the effects, she remains in great spirits. How wonderful it was to talk in person, instead of on the phone, and get a few good hugs in. I really hope I can pop in again before I head home.
It's really hard to see someone I love so much going through something so difficult. I shed many tears while we talked in her hospital room. She is remaining steadfast and so faithful to her Lord, and the testimony she is to those on the team at the hospital caring for her, as well as some of her family who are not followers of Christ, is truly amazing and so, very glorifying to God. She said several times, "This is exactly what I want. I am honored to be used by the Lord." Though she would not have asked the God for cancer, she has asked Him for trials to refine her and to use in the lives of those she loves. She has asked Him to grow her faith and to humble her. And, she says He is faithfully using this circumstance to accomplish all these things. How gracious of the Lord to give His sweet servant such amazing faithfulness to endure and be steadfast in thankfulness to Him.
Truly, I cannot imagine being thankful for something so scary and life-altering. I have gotten well used to my easy going, country housewife life and don't really want it to change. I complain when Kroger doesn't print the catelina on my receipt, or when Katie's messy diaper leaks onto her clothes. And here my friend is with tumors in her body, facing eight months of intense chemotherapy, and she is consistently grateful to God and did not utter a single complaint during my visit. Seeing her go through this immense trial with such thankfulness is causing me to really step back andexamine myself, and her amazing faithfulness is truly encouraging me (and so many others) to be more faithful.
Through my tears today, I told her I wanted to be like her when I grow up. I want to be willing to do or go through whatever it takes for Christ to be glorified and His Kingdom advanced. Truly, at the end of the day, nothing else matters. Lord, please give me faith like hers.