"God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife's own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day."
~The Excellent Wife, page 4 (emphasis mine)
As I spend my days (and nights!) caring for two young children, it can be hard to remember that my primary ministry is to my husband--not my children. My number one goal in life must be to be the best wife I can be for him, to the glory of God. This is what I'm called to--and truly, if you're striving to be the absolute best wife you can be, you'll probably do a good job with your children too.
Your husband loves you. He married you because he wanted to spend his whole life with you. And he deserves better than your worst at the end of a day of chasing babies. There may not be any way to avoid being tired at the end of the day. So, what can you do?
Here are a couple suggestions (and I'm totally preaching to myself here, too!):
::Take ten minutes before he comes home to freshen things up. It's doable! In just two minutes, you could brush your hair and change your shirt if it's covered in spit-up. Then, spend the rest of the 10 minutes picking up messes. If your children are old enough, enlist their help!
::Keep your room picked up. A few minutes per day of tidying can make a world of difference. When you get up in the morning, make your bed (as long as your husband isn't still in it!), pick up dirty clothes, and when you leave your room, take a couple things that don't belong (toys the children dragged in, the glass on the nightstand, etc.). A clean room is more relaxing. And, let's face it--it's more romantic, too.
::Don't unload on him. If I've learned anything in my 3 1/2 years of marriage, it's that men are not as chatty as women. While I definitely think you should keep an open line of communication with your husband, his first minutes home should not be filled with your complaints about the day.
::Make sure he has clean clothes. Doing a load of laundry every day or every other day isn't that much work. Making sure your husband has clean underwear, socks, and clothes to wear to work should be a top priority. Here are some of my tips for staying caught up on laundry.
::The way to a man's heart is through his belly. You may not have the time or energy for gourmet meals, but you are going to be eating something every day. Keep your husband's preferences in mind when preparing food rather than catering to your children's picky-ness. Having a menu plan is a lifesaver for me in this regard. If I plan our menus and make a list of everything we need, I know I have food on hand for a meal for Ben every evening.
::Remember the other way to his heart. You know what I'm talking about. Even when you're tired, it's really important to bless your husband in this way. Look forward to it. Make time for it. Enjoy it. Enough said.
I'd love to hear from y'all--especially the older, more seasoned wives among us. Any advice you can share for us younger women in the spirit of Titus 2 would be much appreciated!
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