Wednesday, December 28, 2011
To my sweet Benjamin on your first birthday
My dearest Benjamin,
Having grown up as an only child without any boys around (at least not at home), though I was thrilled, I wondered if I would know what to do with a boy when we found out your gender in the middle of my pregnancy. As you grew in my womb, and even more once I held you in my arms for the very first time (after a beautiful, peaceful home birth), I fell completely in love. It's hard to believe it's already been a year--and as much as I loved you then, without a doubt, I love you even more now.
You are an inquisitive little explorer. You're not walking yet (though you did take a step the other day--but you quickly fell down, primarily because of a lack of confidence, I think), but you can crawl quite fast and you cruise around a lot. And you love to climb--which puts you in interesting predicaments at times. Strangely, you are also always finding ways to pinch your fingers. Hopefully someday you'll learn to avoid this!
You are also a sensitive little man, often seeking the approval of others. And with your adorable smile, you usually get it. Sometimes your feelings get really hurt when you are reprimanded. Hopefully that means you won't need too many spankings! You love your big sister. It brings so much joy to my heart to see the two of you playing together. These days she helps me keep you out of trouble, but I bet one day you become a wonderful protector for her!
You don't say a whole lot of words yet (perhaps it's a boy thing?). Mostly, you says "Da-da" and more recently "Daaaaddy." Occasionally, you'll humor me and muster up a "Maaa-maa," which I love! You have also said "Doggie" and "Baba." You also like to point at things you want to see. And, when you raise your arms up signaling for me to hold you, it's really hard to resist!
You love to nurse and didn't start eating three solid meals per day until this fall. I am so thankful for all the good nutrition you've gotten through breast milk, and I wonder if that is part of the reason you have yet to get sick! You were much more attached to me than Katie was and still don't sleep through the night consistently (though you are getting there!). However, your laid back and sweet disposition and irresistibly adorable four-toothed smile adds so much sweetness to my days.
When I look at you, I am amazed to think that one day, Lord willing, you'll be a man. My prayer for you today and always is that you will repent and believe the gospel at a young age, and that you'll grow into a godly man (like your daddy, whose name you bear)--one fit to provide for and lead a family of your own in advancing Christ's Kingdom.
My firstborn son, I could not be more thankful that the Lord gave you to me. I love you more than words can even say.
With all my love,